Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Pondering Tolerance

Last night I went to a dear friend's house to knit. I enjoy our time knitting together because we have excellent conversation, and share excitement over each other's projects. Last night was no exception. We had more philosophical discussion, talked about life events, and shared some laughs in the process.

One thing in particular that came about was a question to ponder. Consider the following: Person A is an associate of yours, and they irritate the tar out of you. Person B is an associate of yours, and they irritate the tar out of you as well. You are gracious and tolerable of Person A. Person B receives no tolerance, no mercy, and no forgiveness. You can't stand either of them, yet you are more tolerable of one than the other. Why is that?

I think my friend came up with some incredible insight. She suggested one of the variables could be how much is invested in the relationship. Is Person A the spouse of a close friend? A team member? Someone with closer ties to you may bear reason to force yourself to withstand more than you would for someone who doesn't share a communal circle.

Having said that, herein lies my issue: I am a stickler for genuineness. People who are not genuine really get under my skin. However! If I have two people I cannot stand and treat one with more respect than the other, how am I being genuine? And therefore, why can I not exercise mercy and tolerance for the one I haven't displayed it for previously? If it's easy enough for me to do it for one, shouldn't it be so for another?

A bigger question evolved from the previous. What about MY attitude is keeping me from being able to accept this person? How is it I'm so easily able to place 100% of our personality clashes on the other person, rather than take ownership of my own contributions to the problem?

What it all boils down to is this: I very well could be a horrible person.

Will you pass the cookies, please? Oh, and not those kind, I can't stand the guy who made them.....

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Formal Introduction

I love to write. I love to relive stories. I don't know why I have taken so long to commit to blogspot, but I have a feeling I will really enjoy - and over-utilize - this site.

I'm a 20-something gal who doesn't feel as old as the number says I am. I like to think I reached an aging plateau when I turned 23. Reality is harsh most times, and I prefer my delusional bubble of happy thoughts versus responsibility. I realize, however, I'm not exempt from responsibility and try to live my life....well....responsibly.

I spent the first 12 years of my life on the coast of California. The beach was more than just a destination, it was a way of life. I started life as a valley girl, like, for sure. I wish I could still feel the sand between my toes and hear the waves breaking on the shore. I miss the ocean. It's the one tie I can't break from my California days.

The summer before I turned 13, we moved lock, stock, and barrel, to Wyoming. Talk about your culture shock. My misery quickly passed, however, and I grew to fall in love with Wyoming. The landscape, the wildlife, the atmosphere, the people - the serenity and simplicity of life there was something I wish I had not taken for granted. I soon became a rugged mountain girl, longing for an escape from the real world to hike, fish, and even hunt. I still fawn over the majesty of Yellowstone National Park, and would give anything to live in a remote cabin within those park boundaries. When groceries can be teleported, that is.....

January 1st of 2006, my husband and I rolled into our new homestead in North Dakota. There are no mountains here. There is no clear blue water. There is no ocean. I'm not sure if you're aware of it or not, but North Dakota is known for mosquitos. Known for. "Hey Ole, there are a lot of mosquito things flyin' around, doncha know?" "Yah, Lena, sure, you betcha!"

I do like it here, though, and know I was placed in each area at each point in time for a purpose. Though I'm unclear why I'm here, I know it's for a reason. In that I can be sure, and find contentment in a purpose. God and I have a lot of talks about this. Mostly He just listens, but every now and again I can hear the faintest whisper of confirmation and encouragement. Even with my hearing loss. :o)

A brief and very summarized window into my developing soul - but I hope you have a sense of who I am and maybe why I'm a little nuts. More to come...