Pondering Tolerance

Last night I went to a dear friend's house to knit. I enjoy our time knitting together because we have excellent conversation, and share excitement over each other's projects. Last night was no exception. We had more philosophical discussion, talked about life events, and shared some laughs in the process.

One thing in particular that came about was a question to ponder. Consider the following: Person A is an associate of yours, and they irritate the tar out of you. Person B is an associate of yours, and they irritate the tar out of you as well. You are gracious and tolerable of Person A. Person B receives no tolerance, no mercy, and no forgiveness. You can't stand either of them, yet you are more tolerable of one than the other. Why is that?

I think my friend came up with some incredible insight. She suggested one of the variables could be how much is invested in the relationship. Is Person A the spouse of a close friend? A team member? Someone with closer ties to you may bear reason to force yourself to withstand more than you would for someone who doesn't share a communal circle.

Having said that, herein lies my issue: I am a stickler for genuineness. People who are not genuine really get under my skin. However! If I have two people I cannot stand and treat one with more respect than the other, how am I being genuine? And therefore, why can I not exercise mercy and tolerance for the one I haven't displayed it for previously? If it's easy enough for me to do it for one, shouldn't it be so for another?

A bigger question evolved from the previous. What about MY attitude is keeping me from being able to accept this person? How is it I'm so easily able to place 100% of our personality clashes on the other person, rather than take ownership of my own contributions to the problem?

What it all boils down to is this: I very well could be a horrible person.

Will you pass the cookies, please? Oh, and not those kind, I can't stand the guy who made them.....